So I figured, "Why not blog at 4 in the morning when I can't sleep, but should be sleeping?" ha.
It was only a few days ago that I felt really insignificant. Like a grain of sand at the beach. But now, I'm feeling a little better.
Life is unpredictable. And I appreciate that.
But sometimes..my emotions are also unpredictable.
I do not appreciate this.
People are unwilling if there is not money involved.
Only a very select few are willing
End of story.
I haven't been out with my friends in a long time.
Just yesterday I went out and had fun with them.
My last summer break ever and I've disappointed myself. And my friends.
I can't believe I didn't know you had already left for the east coast.
I'm sorry, and I miss you.
I hate when depressing memories return to me for no reason.
Losing a friend is just too hard to cope with.
But it is possible.
I know it is.
I'm almost there.
Where does all the trash in the world go?
Nail clippings, banana peels, dead animals..
I honestly, (honestly) did not know that smiling makes others around you happy too.
I just don't like smiling alot.
But by no means am I a sad individual.
I always try to think positively.
Trust me.
The amount of negative thoughts that invade my mind have gradually decreased in the past 3 years.
Everyone has their problems. And they think that theirs is the worst situation.
Never say "worst" because anything can get worse.
Do you have clothes? Food? Shelter?
End of story.
Millions and millions of dollars are not important.
Every fountain I see...I want to jump into.
Do you know how fucking long I've wanted a tattoo?
I miss hanging out with friends.
Need more time. Now. Before it runs out.
I guess guys aren't attracted to girls who speak their mind.
So much for thinking otherwise.
If I could, I'd physically hurt you until you screamed for mercy.
But that's not going to happen because I'm nicer than that.
In the past, being mean was commonplace for me. Now, I've taught myself that being kind is very useful.
Such frustration?
How can it be cured?
Is there a some sort of mandrake, special potion, rabbit's foot, fermented organ that I can apply?
Never:
-judge others.
-eat spicy foods before a big outing.
-underestimate others.
-close mind.
-open mouth before thinking.
-bite more than you can chew.
-give 99%.
-give up.
-be passive.
-waste food.
-burn bridges.
When I'm angry, I get angry.
So don't test me.
It's not worth risking a friendship.
Must always carry an extra pen.
One pen is not enough.
Always seems to get misplaced.
Must write down thoughts, quotes, lyrics, names.
Time to sleep.
Andtrytocontrolmydreams.
If only I could.
It was only a few days ago that I felt really insignificant. Like a grain of sand at the beach. But now, I'm feeling a little better.
Life is unpredictable. And I appreciate that.
But sometimes..my emotions are also unpredictable.
I do not appreciate this.
Find your own pose!
People are unwilling if there is not money involved.
Only a very select few are willing
End of story.
I haven't been out with my friends in a long time.
Just yesterday I went out and had fun with them.
My last summer break ever and I've disappointed myself. And my friends.
I can't believe I didn't know you had already left for the east coast.
I'm sorry, and I miss you.
I hate when depressing memories return to me for no reason.
Losing a friend is just too hard to cope with.
But it is possible.
I know it is.
I'm almost there.
Where does all the trash in the world go?
Nail clippings, banana peels, dead animals..
I honestly, (honestly) did not know that smiling makes others around you happy too.
I just don't like smiling alot.
But by no means am I a sad individual.
I always try to think positively.
Trust me.
The amount of negative thoughts that invade my mind have gradually decreased in the past 3 years.
Everyone has their problems. And they think that theirs is the worst situation.
Never say "worst" because anything can get worse.
Do you have clothes? Food? Shelter?
End of story.
Millions and millions of dollars are not important.
Every fountain I see...I want to jump into.
Do you know how fucking long I've wanted a tattoo?
I miss hanging out with friends.
Need more time. Now. Before it runs out.
I guess guys aren't attracted to girls who speak their mind.
So much for thinking otherwise.
If I could, I'd physically hurt you until you screamed for mercy.
But that's not going to happen because I'm nicer than that.
In the past, being mean was commonplace for me. Now, I've taught myself that being kind is very useful.
Such frustration?
How can it be cured?
Is there a some sort of mandrake, special potion, rabbit's foot, fermented organ that I can apply?
Never:
-judge others.
-eat spicy foods before a big outing.
-underestimate others.
-close mind.
-open mouth before thinking.
-bite more than you can chew.
-give 99%.
-give up.
-be passive.
-waste food.
-burn bridges.
When I'm angry, I get angry.
So don't test me.
It's not worth risking a friendship.
Must always carry an extra pen.
One pen is not enough.
Always seems to get misplaced.
Must write down thoughts, quotes, lyrics, names.
Time to sleep.
Andtrytocontrolmydreams.
If only I could.
Labels: reflection
| posted by gina, 3:54 AM | 0 comments |
- I still cannot fly.
- I still don't have a drink of choice.
- there's only few more years til I turn 25 and find myself in a pit of self-loathing, drugs, half-drunken bottles of root beer, and a few nickels.
- my mother brings up the topic of boyfriends and marriage more than before.
- my joints are starting to deteriorate and my fat is beginning to settle in place.
- epiphanies happen more frequently.
- it makes no difference.
We shall not judge others by their demeanor, but rather by their achievements.
- I still don't have a drink of choice.
- there's only few more years til I turn 25 and find myself in a pit of self-loathing, drugs, half-drunken bottles of root beer, and a few nickels.
- my mother brings up the topic of boyfriends and marriage more than before.
- my joints are starting to deteriorate and my fat is beginning to settle in place.
- epiphanies happen more frequently.
- it makes no difference.
We shall not judge others by their demeanor, but rather by their achievements.
Labels: reflection
| posted by gina, 1:03 PM | 0 comments |
My mom told me:
"One time, when you were you young....
you cried so hard whenever a yellow school bus drove by.
You wanted to ride that bus so bad...crying and screaming.
I kept telling you that only the students rode on that bus.
You just kept on insisting you ride the bus and nothing else.
I finally had to carry you home on my back."
Stubborn huh?
I don't remember this happening at all.
I want to play Scrabble. So bad.
Video Hybrid = Free movies and TV shows online. Hurry before the studios take this site down.
Enjoy!
"One time, when you were you young....
you cried so hard whenever a yellow school bus drove by.
You wanted to ride that bus so bad...crying and screaming.
I kept telling you that only the students rode on that bus.
You just kept on insisting you ride the bus and nothing else.
I finally had to carry you home on my back."
Stubborn huh?
I don't remember this happening at all.
I want to play Scrabble. So bad.
Video Hybrid = Free movies and TV shows online. Hurry before the studios take this site down.
Enjoy!
Labels: childhood, reflection
| posted by gina, 3:59 AM | 0 comments |
